I know T will want to know, and I trust her not to force me into any treatment, but she won't let me continue as id I didn't say anything.

I've just had dinner, still am hungry as I restricted myself both at lunch and dinner, but all I want is to purge. I know shouldn't, but part of me is like what the heck, I won't be able to continue once I tell T, so I should indulge as long as I can....

I can't believe I'm this messed up! Who even thinks like that without any good reason?