Can you make an appointment with your GP/PCP? That Dr can put you on depression medication and monitor you, but your best option would be to see a psychiatrist. This Dr has a much better understanding of psych meds.
It sounds like you are struggling. You need to find a way to see a therapist. Your health is too important.
You may want to look into getting the dialectical behavioral therapy workbook. This book helps you identify your triggers and develop a plan when you are triggered. I found it a huge help.