I do agree about needing to be open Scarlet .. and T well knows already that things will be suggested to me over and over again and until there is this click inside of me that says ok this feels ok.. it is the only time I will be open to it. I think it really has to do with my need to be in control of everything and general distrust. I am however, willing to put the effort in.. just trying to fing something that feels right for me 
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"You decide every moment of every day who you are and what you believe in. You get a second chance, every second."
"You fail to recognize that it matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be!" - J.K. Rowling. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
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