If both going to the dinner and not going to the dinner with your friend will be wrong in his eyes, stands to reason you shouldn't cancel your plans. Atleast that way you have an opportunity to enjoy yourself!

Remind me again whyyy you are giving in to his tantrums?

Because its easier than dealing with him sulking?

IME when giving in to a petulant child's tantrums, they learn that tantrums 〓 getting my way. Usually when you ignore the tantrum (not the child ) the tantrum is swiftly nipped in the bud as its not generating the desired effect.

Don't allow your husband to indirectly dictate your life. That is a one way ticket to Miseryville.

Go with your friend and if hubby even attempts to lay on a guilt trip, smile sweetly, then KINDLY remind him he was complaining about you hogging his daughter and that he now has the perfect opportunity to have daddy- daughter time without any interruption from you.

I concur with previous posters, marital counselling is in order, if not, I foresee much resentment within your matrimonial future.

PS. Seriously, go to dinner with your friend. She hasn't spent time with you in 6 months, no way you can spoil her mood, you'll both be wayyy too busy enjoying eachother's company.

PPS. Seriously, seriously go out. You need some adult company that isn't your husband and that isn't tainted by your husband. Leave his snarky tantrum throwing attitude at home. Go enjoy your dinner, and then deal with it at 9PM'ish upon your return.

Lol, kinda like when a teenager goes to a party or club they were forbidden from attending and then happily dealing with the aftermath because they've already had their fun. As the fun can't be undone by angry / upset parents or any possible disciplinary action.