Hi, this is the first time I post something, because right now I am so very depressed and find no one to talk to and I can't stand it. As a typical borderline I get really really happy when I feel I am in a possible relationship, I live in Mexico, am 37 and separated from my ex and father of 2 girls 3 years ago and since then had dated no one until 7 months ago when I started an online relationship with a guy in Belgium...
2 weeks ago I went to Belgium to visit him... of course I was the one who made the effort to go... the experience was disappointing, because half way thru he got really sick and I ended up traveling by myself .. a REALLY different scenario from what I had imagined... apart from that, I couldn't hide from myself that it seems very difficult to develop a real and good relationship with him, there are several things, important things on which we think very differently.. anyway..
I was desperate and depressed but then... on the plane back to Mexico I happened to meet 2 English men traveling on business here, and to make the story short, I ended up taking them out while in Puebla (which is where I live) one day and then ... I was completely convinced one of them to be "the one"... We then wrote emails everyday and I was super high and happy but today he told me he needs to get his personal issues in order before considering anything else.. needless to say I feel like I'm dying here, I hate this so much...!
Anyway I am thankful for being able to express this here.. I just want this day to end!