(((((((((0xwaterx0)))))))))))))

I can understand why it's hard to talk to someone. It really is hard. Sorry about the rubber band, maybe try something that won't potentially do as much damage?

Good for you for trying other coping mechanisms instead of SI. It's no easy task.

Good for you for trying to be positive. If it helps at all, write a letter or journal about everything on your mind right now. Emotions, problems, anything you want. Might help - it has for me in the past.

Try to take care of yourself.