Wants2Fly said: "What is self-esteem? Is it certainty? Confidence? "I'm sure I'm a good friend, loving mate, caring mother, competent and motivated employee? I have been wondering if insecurity is a somewhat bigger category than self-esteem."

That's a good question. I think I have high self-esteem. I have confidence in my abilities, my own happiness is important to me, I like who I am, etc. I do have plenty of insecurities, though.

Here are just two:

I'm insecure when it comes to dating. I worry I might always be alone. I don't see that as a self-esteem issue though. I feel like I'm worthy of being loved, and I don't want to change who or how I am. I get frustrated because I'm so rarely attracted to men. I feel like the odds of me finding one attractive who happens to feel the same way about me and us actually clicking emotionally and intellectually are pretty slim... Ugh. Sometimes I think I have a better chance of winning the lotto.

I sometimes feel insecure in a social setting where lots of schmoozing and small talk is required, i.e. a reception or cocktail party. Sometimes I'm "on" and do very well, but other times, if I'm tired and have had a very busy, draining day at work and haven't had enough "me" time, I feel "all peopled out." I tend to need more alone time than most people (that's when I recharge) and if I haven't had enough alone time, making idle, polite conversation can be such a struggle for me. Maintaining or having to START a conversation seems like such a huge effort at those times. I worry that the people I'm talking with can tell I'm not interested in the conversation and my mind is wandering and I'm struggling to stay focused. That can make me feel insecure. I am the communications person for a university, so I have to mingle and talk to everyone on social occasions. Sometimes I'm just not in the mood to communicate.