I agree with EJ and Pat. Your husband shouldn't be talking to this woman about his perception that there are problems within your marriage. He should be talking to you about it. Bonding with someone in the way he has is emotional cheating, and it's hurtful and wrong. How would he feel if you were the one chatting with some guy online about your marriage?

And then, planning to meet up? Behind your back? If he's hiding people he speaks with from you, there's something wrong there.