I really relate to your experience! I am also BP11, although it's taking me a long time to actually accept that. I was diagnosed two years ago, and I go off the meds every now and then, as if to 'check' that the Doctor is right. Turns out she was. Trying to get on track now. I have also had bulimnia since a teenager, although it really goes away when I'm on the meds. I have had therapy for this, but the therapist concluded that it was just one of the tools I use to regulate my moods, and that it wasn't a 'food' issue as such. I can also relate to your evening of drinking to oblivion then wandering the streets and buying all manner of things. All my life, people put it down to being a bit 'eccentric' or 'colourful'. Fantastic. But it also leaves me with no money afterwards, and then there's a downhill-slide into depression! When I was a lot younger, I used all manner of illegal mind-altering substances to counteract this depression, which worked in the short-term, but of course came with countless other negative effects. Since then, I 'grew up', and learnt to manage myself in more responsible ways. Not always successfully, but I'm trying! Hope you are ok at the moment.
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Originally Posted by bleutamales
Greetings everyone. I stumbled across this board when I was researching my new diagnosis of BPII. After 20+ years of fighting "depression" and bulimia and being resistant to every antidepressant out there I finally had a full blown manic episode in December. I blew my 12 year sobriety when I vacationed at my parents house and just drank myself into oblivion and then drove around picking fights and flirting with homeless men finally ending up at a 24 hour Walmart where I bought pretty shiny things and outfits for my boston terrier. Then I crashed and was suicidal. I almost checked into the hospital but my p-doc added ativan and I slept for a couple days. P-doc finally diagnosed me BP and added lamictal. I slept for 4 weeks straight. Thankfully I have a very good support system and my mom took care of my son and all his school stuff. Now, I feel semi-alright. I still rapidly cycle like crazy but I feel much better than last summer when I was only on prozac, gabapentin and topomax. I worked at my son's school this whole year and made no friends (who can you trust???) but the kids were wonderful and it gave me a reason to get out of bed. I'm worried that now school is out I'm going to fall back into my hermit ways. I'm really glad I found this forum. It makes me feel like I'm not the only one on earth feeling like this. I look forward to getting to know everyone.
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