I would say it means you are getting better.
I know how you feel. I have often spent huge amount of time thinking about it before because I found it comforting. Like you said it was a way out, a solution. Just knowing I had that option was a comfort.
Hopefully you will continue on the upswing and won't miss them anymore.
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The "paradox" is only a conflict between reality and your feeling of what reality "ought to be." -- Richard Feynman
Major Depressive Disorder
Anxiety Disorder with some paranoid delusions thrown in for fun.
Recovering Alcoholic and Addict
Possibly on low end of bi polar spectrum...trying to decide.
Male, 50
Fetzima 80mg
Lamictal 100mg
Remeron 30mg for sleep
Klonopin .5mg twice a day, cutting this back
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