>For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?
>We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, ''You don't know Jack
>Schitt!'
>
>Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an
>intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe
Schitt,
>the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of
>Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt
>married Noe Schitt
>
>The deeply religious couple produced six children:
>Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins
Deep
>Schitt and Dip Schitt.
>
>Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a
high
>school dropout.
>After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe
Schitt
>later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with
them, she
>wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt
>Sherlock.
>
>Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son
with a
>rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six
>children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout
>childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual
ceremony
>The wedding announcement in the newspaper announce the Schitt-Happens
>nuptials.
>
>The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt,
the
>prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from
Italy
>with his new Italian bride Pisa Schitt.
>
>Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct
them.
>
>Sincerely,
>
>Crock O. Schitt