I was wondering when reading a lot of posts about transference and idealizing our T... Are you also waiting for the moment your T becomes deidealized (by you?).

I think it is part of the process we need to go through in therapy. First we see our T as perfect, healthy, competent,... and probably a bit as superhuman beings as we look for that place to feel safe, someone who can guide us, who knows things better than us, who can protect us or save us...

I think finally we work towards a relationship where we and the T are more equal partners, where the facade cracks and the T comes down to the same height as the client and there is real collaboration. No 'rescue work' anymore. I think only then, it could be time for the client to move away or to give things a try on their own and feel 'good' about it.

Now I was thinking where I find myself on this continuum.

I think I'm somewhere in between. I start to realize that my T isn't perfect, that she's 'only' a human being too. But somehow I don't really get it though. As if I'm waiting for something to happen... for those cracks to show up... for that moment where she messes up... So that I won't feel like quitting therapy, but just enough to make me think 'hey, we're quite similar'. Not a story about heroes and people who need to be saved anymore...
I have the feeling that it would be awesome to experience that feeling. And actually for the T too... not to keep up those standards anymore, to be able to take a bit more risks, not to have to walk on eggshells anymore, being afraid to hurt the client more than they realize.

And my guess is that a lot of people need that or wait for it (without really being aware) too. Until then we feel dependent and quite insecure about it... I guess.

My T recently started to show some cracks actually... Some made me a bit upset, others made me feel so 'good'. Very weird. But I like it!

Are you waiting for the deidealization too??