Quote:
Originally Posted by maymie
I admit I have made my fair share of mistakes. I will never deny that. In fact I'm probably the first one to admit I make mistakes. But there are mistakes I made years ago that are still being thrown in my face. Mistakes made years ago that I still hear about. I try not to let it get to me but it very much does. It effects me. It messes with me. I'm not perfect but neither are they. How am I supposed to deal with having my mistakes thrown in my face? I don't know how to deal with it. Now of course I'm sad because all I can do is think about the mistake that was thrown in my face.
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You know that these mistakes were in the past. First step in not letting them affect you is by taking to heart the fact that they are over and done and you are past that. Just simply state that that's done and over and in no way does it affect your present anymore. Tell them to get over it and leave it at that. don't pursue the argument to convince them how it hurts you, that's the whole point of throwing something in someone's face, to make you feel bad, hurt you and cause guilt in you over someting. it's a manipulation that is used in an argument to gain the upper hand over the other person. walk away, state what I said first and then leave the conversation. let them know that as soon as they are ready to talk about things of the present and leave the past where it belongs, you'll talk to them again. Do this consistently and I don't doubt it will stop them from using it to get to you.