Pinksoil, wow. I hadn't realized all that you have been through. My goodness. I can identify with much of what you said in regards to my mom.

I also do not want to repeat cycles of my mother. She's similar to yours but a little different:

She's a gambler, smoker, has cycles of men in/out, computer addiction, addiction to prescription drugs, alcohol, compulsive spender, embarrassing, not well kept, and the list goes on...

You may think you see some parallels but you do not seem to be any of the things you described about your mom. The most important difference is you are working on yourself and so am I.

Our moms? Can't see the forest through the trees on that. What we do have? we are like shrapnel after explosion. We are putting the pieces back together one at a time my dear...

By the way, I'm from Pa. outside of Philly. Lived there most of my life...