hi samoo
never give up, there is always hope...as miserable as life has become, meds might be the answer. I hate meds, but my life was a disaster and meds changed it so much for the better that I cant imagine life without them. it is worth it to take them not to go back to that hell. as for that counseling, most school campuses provide free counseling to students. check into it. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome