19. Female. Diagnoses with depression over three years ago.

I crashed and burned last Friday after my meds were stopped abruptly.

I won't go into to detail, but there were suicidal ideas (not wanting to live), desires to self-harm, and things got scary. So I went to the hospital. Twice. I'm stable now (or I wouldn't be posting), and just saw my psychiatrist to get new meds. However, this crisis made me realize that I need to do something a little more intense about my depression. But I'm not sure what. My parents showed me a residential program (NOT a hospital) a few hours from where I live. It's especially for young adults struggling with mental health issues, and provides support and structure in a 24/7 setting. I'm wondering if I could get some feedback on what is "bad enough" to require (or suggest a need for) residential treatment. Here's what I've got:

Not wanting to live, but not wanting to die.

Self-harm

Can't exactly function. Forced myself out of bed. And even more so to take a shower.

No hope that it will ever get better

Numbing to the world (too much pain)

Sobbing before falling asleep

Concerned for my own safety in general (but not specifically right now).

I did complete an IOP this winter, which helped a little. But not a lot. Why we are considering something a little more intense.

Also. Please don't tell me to go to the hospital. I went twice this weekend, and I am stable as of right now.

So, anyone have experience in a residential treatment? What was your situation before? Did it help you? How?