Hi everyone, I'm new here so I don't really know where to start. I have been dealing with depression for such a long time now. I haven't been treated, mainly because I do not have the finances to pay for it. I can't afford the meds or the cost of a doctor's visit. I am getting to the point now where I know I have to seek help.

I am a single mother now, age 32. My husband passed away of cancer in 2001, he was 29 and at the time I was 28. We have two children, they are 12 and 10 now. I live in a place where I have no family, so therefore no support system. I do have a large family in Ohio, but that is so far from where I live. I also just lost my father this past month. He died of cancer like my husband. It really took a toll on me to see the two men in my life die such horrible deaths. It's been really hard just getting up in the mornings and taking care of my kids. I have lost alot of weight in the last month, and I just feel so alone and lost.

I have been battling depression since my teens, but since 2001 it has gotten so severe I am scared. I have thoughts that I don't want to have. Sometimes I wish I was the one who died instead of my husband. Anyway I didn't wanna get into such a lengthy discussion on my first post.

I was wondering are there programs out there that are free? I have very little income right now, I lost my job (due to depression and just not caring). So I am living on the survivor's benefits for my children only right now. I need to get help for this depression, so I can get my life back together. If anyone has more info about this please post it. I really need help NOW. Thank you so much for being here and listening.