Pumping is hard, but supplementing is a one-way road to breastfeeding supply line failures, since Bfing is the ultimate supply and demand system. I am so sorry that you had to let that go, because it really is very fulfilling. I hope that you are taking the time to do the extra cuddles, maybe on about the same schedule as the feeds? sounds like you need it, and certainly baby needs it too.

I too had a doctor that was a complete arse, not pedi, but gyn. My pedi was really happy about breastfeeding even when they were trying to find a med I could take. the pdoc was horrid and my pedi when I told him what I was taking was like, great, that's one of the ones that is okay for BFing moms, after pdoc was like you have to wean because nothing is safe--I was like, call LLL's pharmacists and do your research ( I already knew what the answer was). He BF for two years himself, one of the first things he talked about actually with us. DS later wound up with RSV and I got it, the docs were treating him but letting me get sicker and sicker. Finally a doc was like, you've had this cough for 9 months, oh hell no, here's some codeine cough syrup, baby won't get it. All the docs assumed I was nursing a wee one, when by that time he was 15 months. Thank goodness for that doc or things would have gone badly.

A lactation consultant is the best, I wish you'd been able to see them sooner.

I am glad that things are working out for the best though and good luck.

Have you asked them to test you for bipolar? You may have bipolar depression as opposed to unipolar, and the treatment would be different.