Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
I wonder if you're projecting some of the feelings of grief and upset about termination on to your therapist to help you manage the intensity of the leaving. And feeling guilty to mask your longing to see him again. It's hard to leave a supportive therapist, even if you feel like you've made good progress, doubly so when you're depressed due to some reversal. And if you're imagining a social interaction to ease your discomfort, because therapists and clients don't really go on to have any social contact except in extraordinarily rare cares.
It sounds like you're not quite resolved yet, because you've been suffering, especially with the difficult recent events.
I hope you find some peace.
Perhaps you feel it's best to not go back, and if so, I respect that, but if you're struggling with a deep, unexpected depression, I wonder if you might find it helpful for a bit, or even to have a session for closure and to cement your gains so you feel a bit better about closing the relationship.
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Your interpretations seem all very reasonable and sensible -- thank you. What complicates things is that my former therapist and I did acknowledge our potential to interact socially while I was still in therapy, and there was a mutual agreement there. Neither of us needed to be explicit to communicate what we were feeling. I guess I just need to trust that connection and stop agonising over when I'll see him again. I left therapy knowing I'd need to go through the process of grieving the end of the therapeutic relationship and of finding a new therapist. I'm determined to get through it. It just sucks to be in the midst of it.
I think the depression I am feeling now is perfectly normal. I went through the same thing following a break-up last year, so I know I can manage this round of emotions regarding my former therapist. I wasn't expecting therapy to rid me of depression completely -- I think I'll always have it (I have had it for 10 years), so my job is to know how to manage it.
Regarding having an extra closure session, we had 4 sessions to wrap things up, which I felt was enough. I know I'd still be feeling the same way even if our ending was extended beyond those 4 sessions. Termination is never an easy process.