I think it is just other people's opinions about me, which I listen to. If someone thinks I am "kind" (my therapist said she thought I was), it has to come from what I have told her or exhibited to her, etc. I may not see it or believe it or whatever but it is the other person's perception, not mine, so I don't really get a vote on that. I like other people's kind perceptions as they are seeing something I may not see and I can assume, if they see it, maybe it is there and work toward seeing it myself if I want. I often ask my husband to tell me what he sees in me