(((((((((((((((jinny)))))))))))))))))))

I've often wondered in the past, the same thing. What did I do to deserve all this suffering??? Was I bad in a past life? Was I put here solely to be someone's punching bag and piece of crap??

But, when I started healing and time moved on, I realized something really big. I realized that God wasn't putting me through hell, that I had not done anything wrong to deserve what I got. What I realized was that it was all a learning experience I had to go through to become the person I needed to be. In other words, I could not have been who I am now and who I am working towards being without having gone through the hell I went through. There were many lessons to be learned, and I learned them.

Instead of continuing to believe that I was a bad person that deserved the crap, I learned to believe that I needed these situations so I could in turn help others in their hellish times, so I could give something back and repay the help and kindnesses I received along the way during my healing.

This didn't all happen overnight. It took a number of years to get the full effect. But the fact that it happened, and I became a better person for having been through it all is that really counts.

Our situations may be different, but in the long run, the outcome can be the same. Maybe you are meant for bigger and better things, but to get to that point, you must go through and deal with the issues at hand first. Learn from them, grow and blossom (I have every faith that you will do just that!). Somewhere down your road, you will be able to give someone else the lessons you learned and it will warm your heart and you will have YOUR realization!

Love and Hugs to you!!
xoxoxoxox
J