Hello & Welcome, GoodnightNicolae. It sounds as if you may be suffering from depression and are using alcohol as self-medication.

Even though depression can present as sadness, it's not the same thing. It's a disorder that messes with your moods. You don't have to be in bad or obvious stressful circumstances to suffer from it.

Several physical problems can mimic or accompany depression. Is it possible for you to get a full medical examination?