Okay, I'm driving myself nuts here. Please tell me I'm not insane!

I keep thinking about what I should have said, what I didn't say what I did say that I shouldn't have. And now all I can think is that when I see him on Thursday that he's absolutely going to think I'm nuts and he's going to get fed up with me and that will be it. I'll have singlehandedly screwed up yet another oppurtunity for help.

Still doesnt' help that I cant ask for it.

So now I've got to go in on Thursday and tell him that whatever I presented myself as was wrong and that I'm really a bad person and I need to convince him of that which means that he's not going to like me.

Okay, so I'm sabotaging myself. Stupid, yes I realize. Why do I do that ... Now I can't shake the feeling that I'm wasting his time again. I hate being a bother. I think I'm going to go hide and cry now.

Yes, I'm a pathetic idiot who gets attached too quickly to people.