Yeah, that's one problem. I haven't cried since she died. Unfortunately, I was more relieved. And, I think I'm still mad about it all which is blocking the grieving process. I have realized all through my life that I've had surrogate mothers - teachers/camp counselors who have given me the nurturing I needed but I didn't realize I was seeking it. In fact, I just read in a high school journal that I need to see a shrink to figure out why I liked that teacher so much.