Hi, elevatedsoul, I'm sorry you are having a rough time.
Many times family and friends can't comprehend what it's like for us. Mental illness is hard to explain to someone who's never been depressed or manic and the many others that fit under mental illness. What they don't understand makes them uncomfortable. I understand the pasted smile. i use it often.
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin
"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha