Thankyou again for the help through those few bad days. I thought I should let you all know that I am feeling much better now. I really appreciate that I was able to get so much help and support here.

I went to my therapist today who helped me see that I am once again rational. I was definitely irrational for a few days there but back to being, in my own words, "sane". I really have to be more careful with my meds. She explained that while I may not have felt effects of missing a day or too in less stressful times, the stress of the situation combined with missing the meds equals disaster for me.

She did ask a few times if I felt manic, I didnt think I was straight out manic, thinking more along the lines that I was mixed, but you know when they ask a question and it just makes you question yourself a little bit? Well its like that. As I have committed myself to a lot lately and have been doing far more than I used to do with myself. Its definitely not euphoric if it is the high side of life, I know that for sure!

She will try and fit me in next week but it is hard to get a spot with her as she is so sort after. I do have the option of my CBT therapist if things start to go downhill again but it is a bit hard to juggle 2 therapists. I think I am doing ok.

I am glad the episode has passed so quickly. Usually depression episodes for me are long lasting but the mixed episodes dont seem to last more than about 4 days - I think that is possibly because I drug myself with zeldox or zyprexa as I cannot stand it any longer than that. Probably a good thing I at least have the insight to take the PRN meds.

Now I just have to have the strength not to go crawling back to the ex for comfort.