What an interesting question, glok.

I've given this a lot of thought tonight. I agree that 'normal' is aa vague, undefined term that means something different to everyone.

Normal means safe. As a fixed geographical point, safe is my house and especially, my room. With my books and file boxes and artwork all around me, I feel safe. With my cat and stuffed animals and the usual clutter of books and ms's laying about-I feel a warmth of spirit that I don't feel anywhere else. And though it's nice to touch base with other humans now and then, I really prefer my own company.

As a state of mind, normal means no one can set my schedual, or tell me what to do or when or where or how to do it. Once again, the word means safe, for me.

Not normal means being outside my house, being around strangers who suck all the air out of the room until I can't breath. Not normal used to mean drugs and alcohol and anything that would take me out of a perpetual pursuit of safty and being zoned out to the point where I was a victim for all the predators who seek out those who can't find any balance in life. I was a victim for many, many years until I started meds and began to understand that normal would allow me to set boundaries and stop being a victim.

So I don't believe normal is a concept to live my life by other people's perception of the word-for me, it means being safe from the chaos and the fear and paranoia. It means sitting right here at my computer with my cat on the bed and waiting for the dawn to attemp sleep one more time.