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Old Jun 26, 2014, 09:39 AM
Anonymous12111009
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parisian Princess View Post
I am currently trying to figure out if this situation is "in my head" or if I'm sensing something from which I should just walk away.

I don't date a lot and I haven't in awhile. A lot of that is from getting in a long-term relationship a few years ago and just not being ready, and also because I hadn't met anyone I was really interested in. I feel reasonably well about my looks and my "normal" personality (the one I have when I'm not letting anxiety and depression take over) and I get positive attention from men.

About a month ago, I went to a small get-together organized by some old acquaintances, which was really a huge step for me because I almost didn't go. While there, I had a pretty good time and a few guys seemed to be into me. One in particular seemed very interested. We'd already been connected on social media but started PM each other more regularly.

Finally, we agreed to go out. I was looking forward to it and I got the impression that he was, too. Date one was great and I found that I liked him a lot. He was definitely giving off the same vibe. More conversations and texts led to a second date. It was longer in duration and equally fun. We talked the following week about potential locations for dates and he even suggested doing something together that was happening in December.

The problem? I suggested meeting for a quick breakfast or lunch. It's possible that it got overlooked because we were chatting about so many other things. He mentioned that he thought we had a great connection and wanted to introduce me to some friends. A few days ago, I asked him what he was doing that day and again suggested lunch. He was busy that day -- which, not a problem -- but said he was looking forward to "getting together soon." He kind of ended the session with that and I said cool, we'll work out the details soon. However, he hasn't reached out to me since then. I haven't contacted him, either.

So, I'm feeling a change in the energy, just from the way he seemed to abruptly end the conversation. Since we began communicating more regularly, we haven't really gone more than a day without at least a "hi" or some sort of conversation, like "How's your Monday going?" I don't know if I'm wigging out unnecessarily, because I tend to worry about things I don't need to, or if this is his passive way of backing off.

Up until now, I really got the impression that he wanted to spend time with me. He's been very up-front about that and has even mentioned it to our mutual friends. I feel like it's important to add that we've had some very lengthy, in-depth conversations and we're obviously attracted to one another (it hasn't progressed past kissing). But this is more that I "feel" like something is off, even though it's just that he hasn't spoken or texted in a few days.

So what do you think? Should I just let this die a natural death or is there reason to believe that he is as into me as he's said?
Ok first off, from what I've read, about the only thing alluding to him being not as into you is that he hasn't reached out to you. The truth is that even in a strong relationship, where people are not necessarily in the same home, there could be a great number of reasons for things going silent for a time and unless he's done something that has shown he's changed his mind, you have every reason to give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps something has happened that is keeping him busy, his phone has been cut off (happened to me more than I'm happy to say) or soemthing similar.

Right now the evidence shows that he was at the very least interested in you, kept up with you after somewhat intimate dates (kissing) and he expressed his enjoyment of your company. You have nothing other than time between texts or calls to say that he's changed his mind. Now this, of course depends on the amount of time, but i see no reason to expect that this is dying at this point. That is, quite honestly, your insecurity, which I might say I'm not judging you about but just as a fact. I know how this feels, I've done it myself, but pretty much everything you've said is reading into things more than there is evidence of.

My suggestion? Give him a chance to respond, be upfront and honest, tell him nicely that it's been awhile and then just ask him, if he's still interested in going out again. Give him the benefit of the doubt and tell him you understand that he may have gotten busy or something. Let him know without being pointed, that you've noticed a change in the amount of conversation you are having and then leave it be. His response is what you should base your next move on. Or lack thereof if he doesn't respond. Do this and you have a reason to either hang on for longer or move on.

Everything else said about what he's doing, or his thoughts or whether he's interested in you still or not is all speculation

Hope this helps
Thanks for this!
waiting4