I've had depression since i was young. Antidepressants don't work and my t says i'm a very good client and it's been hard on him over the years to see me work really hard and not get much out of it (i do dbt and i really love dbt i think it's saved my life on more than one occasion).

so he's really sure it's a bio problem and we've been struggling to figure out what could be the root. before i had my baby last year, i had a med that was working (off-label use) tho no one knew why. it didn't necessarily solve all my depression problems, but it fixed a chunk.

anywho, he had this idea and so i'm going today for some bloodtests with my reg. doc (i see my pdoc in a few weeks). hormone tests (i get my thyroid tested regularly but he suggested i ask about pth?). plus someone here gave me a suggestion to ask about.

the thing is, i've always come back super clean on blood tests my whole life. on paper i look like a really healthy person. i don't have any hope this will show anything but i figure it can't hurt and i'm due for my thyroid check anyway. still. i know it'll affect me if it comes back clean.



How do you deal with that kind of disappointment? I've got some dbt coping ahead skills but i feel too discouraged to try.