Quote:
Originally Posted by InRealLife45
My T pretty much did this exact thing with me- all rosy for a year with prompt real responses, then shifting without explanation into generic 1-3 line responses or no responses and saying I'm suddenly crossing boundaries, that suddenly she can't be there for me just bc I have a need.
aka "the feeling is gone."
I don't know about your relationship with your T, but this deterioration started after a major rupture when my T began to dislike me, and lost interest in doing the extra things like email/text for me. She told me she "didn't feel excited about it" anymore.
Maybe just try to let it go, or it will get worse (the T's resentment and withdrawal in response to our need for between session contact)....I think maybe they think the need will diminish over time, but when it doesnt they get annoyed? I dunno.
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Hi Inreallife,
I'm sorry you have experienced the same upsetting change in boundaries with your t. I don't think it was right/nice of your t to disclose to you that she didn't feel excited about working with you anymore. That would have made me feel just awful! I think t's need to remember that many of us didn't learn about boundaries when we were younger, and we rely on them to help us understand them. If they allow something at first, and then later change that boundary, I find it not just hurts me, but makes me feel confused. (What happened? Why did t change the rules? Did I do something wrong? Is she trying to push me away? Are my needs bad?, etc.)
If t's allow something and then later want to change gears, they need to approach it with us in a kind way and explain the reason for the change, rather than indirectly try to convey their wishes by suddenly changing how they react to us without explaining to us why the change is occurring.