I do understand the frustration with coping mechanisms. I have the same problem.

But being about two years down this road, I can assure I wish I had practiced them more ahead of time. It is much harder to learn them when all of the difficult emotions are drowning me all the time. And you may think you feel a lot, but even if you feel most things, there's probably still plenty that you have hidden away. It's the only way to really cope with overwhelming trauma when you're so young. Some crazy stuff is going to come out eventually, and you will want to know how to handle it.