I am so sick of crying at the drop of the hat. If I make it more than 2 days without bursting into tears, I consider it a good day!

My appointment (first ever) with a psychiatrist went well - he actually told me that he believed I was clinically depressed. Well isnt that all fine and dandy, add a label to my forehead and then what?!

I know I'm not supposed to care about other people if it negatively impacts my life, but guess what? My roomate's in the hospital again, as of yesterday. I'm now alone AGAIN in residence. I can't be alone, it doesnt work well with me. I go insane, and it makes my crying more likely. I hate worrying about whether or not she's going to be there forever or wind up dying (which she could potentially because of her health problems)

My family is visiting relatives this weekend, and they didn't invite me. They only told me they were going so I "wouldn't worry". They dont want me around, FINE.

Academically I'm so screwed because I should have been studying for an exam today. I was supposed to go to church. I slept in. I've been doing that a lot lately.

I have enough physical symptoms of stress, and they're making me very cranky/moody/irritable/tired/weepy. School is trying to smother me. My mother wants me to take summer classes. She thinks I shouldnt even go on vacation, I've been in school NON-STOP since September 2005!

I can't eat, I can't sleep. If I try, I feel sick when I eat, and if I sleep then I have nightmares or toss and turn or feel awful the next day.

I'm sick of thinking about bad things, and I don't want to slip up and start SIng again, but I stopped drinking (pretty much) for my friends and now I dont have any other way to cope.

My therapist is leaving after next week, so I have ONE more session with him FOREVER.

My friends are graduating in June, and most are leaving the country.

I don't have energy to do anything but complain, and I know it's not constructive. I know, I'm "choosing" to be miserable. Choosing negativity, that's the type of person I am. I refuse to be optimistic in the face of the fact my entire life seems crappy.

I hate dealing with the past bad thing that happened to me (I talked about it Abuse a week or so ago). I dont know how to deal with all of this right now.

Now I want to go crawl into bed and stay there. But no, cant do that.

Grrrrrrrr... thank you for letting me vent.