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Old Apr 06, 2007, 09:28 PM
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ickydog2006 ickydog2006 is offline
Poohbah
 
Member Since: Dec 2004
Location: NM
Posts: 1,455
Here's just a few of my feelings/ experiences.

Starting when I was in first grade I can remember having to have all the desks lined up and spaced properly and my desk had to be aligned with the seams in the carpet.

Any area that is clean and organized must have the entire thing organized. If my desk is mostly straight then every object on it must also be straight. I can't calm down or think clearly if it's not.

I have a really hard time with change. Once I do something one way I need to keep doing it that way- this includes only using certain staircases and walkways depending on where I am going. (ie if I use a walkway to go to a certain class, I must use that walkway everytime I go to that class)

I've had problems in the past with door handles having to push down and open a certain way or number of times. If I don't then I feel all paniced and won't be okay until I've done it.

I use to have to count ceiling tiles whenever I went into a room. This included rows and columns and number of columns and number of individual squares. I wouldn't be able to pay attention in class until this was done.

I also use to count cracks in side walks and many other things too.

One of the major problems with OCD is that you don't feel "right" unless you give in and do it how you feel you have to. Usually it feels like it's a waste of time to sit there obsessing about doing something when you know you won't get anything else done until you just do what you're obsessiing over. However, giving in sometimes leads to the development of having to do other things also.

It's a vicious cycle.

I'm doing a bit better now after having therapy for four years now and being on meds, but I still really struggle with not giving in sometimes. I tend to go into a quick downward spiral if I don't watch myself from giving into certain temptations (especially counting and organizing).

These are just a few things that I've experienced as a result of OCD. I hope that helps some.
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.