I hear you. I've been on five different antidepressants over the last 20+ years, and am on another new one, starting last week. Changing meds can be rough; there's an adjustment period and weird new side effects to experience. For me, the drugs work for a little while, it seems, then stop. I've been to several therapists, but have decided just this week that I want to find a psychiatrist--someone to oversee the ever-changing meds, who can at least recommend the right kind of emotional therapy.

Don't give up. Somewhere out there is the exact right combo of IRL support and appropriate medication. I'm still looking, myself. Good luck! And don't forget, for as bad as it can get, it always gets better, at least for a little while.