thanks for the replies guys. Thing is, I'm not at all depressed. I haven't been this NOT depressed in a long long time and I don''t intend to be depressed ever again. When my marriage ended, I was a mess for a long time but since moving out of the matrimonial home, I've been steadily doing better. Finding the person I was before I got married and realizing that I was being held back by my marriage and the life of hell it created for me. I was a terrible wife, not something I was at all good at or even enjoyed. My divorce is the best thing that has ever happened to me, strange as that sounds. There is a big bright future ahead of me, scary as hell but, it's there, if I want it. I didn't realize until recently that my depression was entirely situational, not chemical or neurological. My anxiety is up pretty high right now seeing all the changes that have and are occuring around me but I can live with that. I'm in intensive therapy for the anxiety and I'm hopeful.
It's just that when I am doing well, even a little, something happens that isn't good at all. That's all I meant. I'm fine, strong and not depressed but there are things happening to someone I love a lot that I am angry about. It's just not fair but it's completely out of my control. That's frustrating and I'm sad about it. It won't send me into another depression because the situation that caused all my problems (my marriage) is over. I just wish I could change the situation for my loved one. I wish I could make all the pain go away. It's just a very helpless feeling.
thanks again for the replies. I appreciate being acknowleged.
take care
tina

Per ardua ad astra
Motto of the Royal Canadian Air Force
"through adversity to the stars"