Thank you, all. I took some Ativan and got a decent night's sleep, so I feel a little better and I'm not sui today. One step at a time, right? I also called my pdoc, who gave me 15 minutes of free therapy and instructed me to go back to my original dose of Zyprexa until further notice. I'd tried cutting it down by 1.25 mg (with his OK) and that was apparently not a good idea, as I'd been stable for months and now I'm a mess. Who knew that such a minor med change would make this big a difference.

I'm not hoarding pills. I have a lot because my PCP always ordered 3 months worth of Ativan at a time and I had a lot left over from that prescription. My husband is the only one who knows where they are---I had him hide them after I OD'd last fall. And of course I have all the regular Rx, which could be lethal if I were to ingest them all. But I won't.....guess I lack the guts to stand being thought of as taking the 'easy' way out. Easy, my @$$. LOL