The Back Pocket Pledge

Just for today I am taking suicide out of my back pocket. I'm making a comittment to myself that no matter how down I am, or how horrible today is, or has been, I've decided to go just one more day without it. I'll try not to think about it or plan it, and it will be one more burden I don't have to carry around today. I don't know if I'll put it back in my pocket tomorrow, or if I can go another day without it-but I'm kicking it to the curb for just one more day.

Thank you for your comment, Perna. How awesome that you have already made your peace with it.

Thank you waggiedog, for your pledge and your sweet post.

Thank you Pierro, for your pledge and congratulations on the success you have already achieved.

It does feel so good just to let it go. No one expects or can achieve perfection-but the fact that all of us are making the effort, that we throw down the gauntlet to the scariest guy in the room, is excellent.

Sometimes I feel like a magnet to all the worst life has to offer. I endured twelve years of an abusive relationship and I thought about taking that final exit every day of those twelve years. We all have crap we have to deal with outside of our illness-families and children and jobs-horrible relatives or spouses or significant others who seem bent on not allowing us to make any progress. And we won't even talk aboout health care or medication or the lack thereof.

I cannot applaud our courage enough. When I finally do go to sleep, it will be with a smile-because I know that some of us will be safe tonight. And that some of us will come back tomorrow and take the pledge again-for just one more day.