Sorry you are feeling so out of sorts with this Juliana. Dating can be so damned confusing at times. I'm so glad I am not in the dating realm...LOL.

I'm thinking here after reading your post that the issue is with the guy, not you. It sounds to me that he can keep a friendly relationship going and feels comfortable enough in that situation, but when anything more than that comes across, he doesn't know how to deal. Maybe he doesn't know how to express himself in any other way than just friendship.

You may have really shocked him when you emailed him that you had a crush on him. If he's as awkward as you say he is, maybe the "fight or flight" instinct took over and he chose the flight??

Have you tried to talk to him about this? Ask him where you got your signals crossed maybe? Maybe just letting him know that the pressure for more than friendship is off and you can take things one step at a time without expectations might help?

I certainly can understand the mixed emotions you have been feeling. It's not easy trying to rectify all this in your mind and your feelings would naturally be all over the board.

I hope things work themselves out for you soon. Good luck m'dear

Hugssssssss
J