Hi uniqueNY,
I was diagnosed with depression/GAD over 15 years ago. I too am on zoloft and xanax and had tried many other combination of meds over the years. The zoloft and xanax has worked the best for me so far. I have been in and out of therapy over this span of 15 yrs. They (Pdoc and therapists) have told me over the years I have had reasons to become this way..although I don't believe I do. It's very difficult to accept reasons why we are this way when we don't feel the way we should. It seems as humans we need a valid reason....but is there really a valid reason??? For me...no. So...is this a learned behaviour? I believe I have conditioned myself over the years to believe that I should feel a certain way based on what society tells me. I learned this over time. As one Pdoc told me....I didn't get this way over night (depression/anxiety) and it will take more than over night to change this behaviour. Are you in any cognitive behaviour therapy? Or read any books on CBT? If not...I would try that...if so...it takes time. Remember we have a lifetime of learning to do. Each day is a new day and adventure...one day at a time.
Snow