Well.... I was motivated to get as far away from my family as possible, and to make sure I didn't turn out just like them. I wanted to preserve myself, which meant leaving.

Which was good motivation to achieve the things which she now brags about.

She does totally see my independence as selfish, and has had a very hard time accepting that I am NOT what she wanted me to be.

With the physical distance and setting very strict boundaries... we've worked things into a working relationship - I have my distance and my privacy, but I'll have contact via texting and sometimes online. I offer what information I'm willing to share, but it's always fairly tame stuff. And I just don't respond to prying and will exist the conversation if it gets too personal. She, to do her justice, has slowly learned that it's best to not bother me with questions and she knows that I won't answer the phone. It's just taken 20 years! (I'm turning 30).