Addiction is a frustrating thing. And yeah, it's not black or white either. I'm a black and white thinker even though I don't want to be. I quit drinking and drugs eight years ago with the help of a 12 step program, after half a decade of trying to do it on my own and even going into a treatment facility and failing at that. It wasn't until I had information on addiction and what it actually was, and that smoking was an addiction in itself, and not some special separate thing, that I was able to quit smoking for good, too.

What keeps me solid in my path is that I do have some rules around my behaviour that are rigid. I don't eat in pubs, not even with friends. I only go to bars/clubs with other sober people, for shows. I don't eat anything that was cooked with alcohol at any stage. I don't care what people always inevitably say about how the alcohol cooks out. Studies have shown that up to 70% of it stays in the food. That's not the point anyway. I know it's in there. I know how my brain works. I don't want to give it any excuses.

When I quit smoking this last time (6 1/2 years ago) I initially had quit six months before that. But for six months I obsessed about smoking every day. And finally I broke down and bought a pack of smokes. And I smoked half a pack within a few hours. Thankfully for me, someone else in recovery reminded me that if I needed to smoke to solve a problem then I was headed on a dangerous path. I panicked, recognizing the truth in that, and threw the pack away. That was it. I won't tell you I don't crave it sometimes. In fact, once every couple of years or so I hit a slump where sometimes for up to a month at a time all I can think about is smoking, and I'm certain I'm going to relapse. How do I get through it? Any damn way I can. Talk to people, tell them what's happening, stay home, avoid smokers, go to recovery meetings, watch a lot of TV, go for lots of walks, whatever works. It all comes down to what Perna said: I have the information. It's been out of my system for so long now that it's no longer my body that craves it. It's a mental obsession, much different than and separate from compulsion. I do have a choice. I can listen, or not listen. I can act, or not act. Might be a bumpy ride for a few hours, days or weeks, with some white-knuckling. But in the end it's worth it.

You can always message me if you're struggling and need to talk to someone. I rarely check this forum for some reason. Congratulations on quitting and good luck.