I'm having trouble being comfortable with my own interests. Telling people about what I like can be the worst. So, I'd thought I'd start here. Well, when I was very little, my family would play games together. Those were really good days, although they didn't last very long. The games included all types, including video games. I was strangely good at them and liked them, but everyone else just played them once and awhile. However, I continued to like games as I got older. However, one incident caused me to never tell other people I play games and hide the fact. I was playing at a house my parents were visiting with my siblings, and the other adults had a kid about our age. We would usually all play together. However, I will never forget when the other adults' daughter came out of her room stone faced to me while I was playing a video game by myself and saying with a glare, "We're in there while you're out here... Playing video games." She put so much disgust on the words that I just hated myself for it. I think she was upset because the other kids always made me be a character they didn't want to be, and maybe she ended up with that role.

Also, during my early teen years, I started playing games even more to escape from reality. I was living in an abusive situation, and I couldn't connect with other people my age and make friends. I felt very isolated, and played games in order to feel like I was part of something.

So, I never admitted I like video games. I don't play them now because of embarrassment, although I would like to once and awhile, in a healthy fashion when I have free time. And I never admit I do.

I'm always so worried about seeming weird that I never mention a lot of other interests too. I have an interest in fashion I never show, because I'm afraid people will see me as vain and stupid... How would people see me if I told them I like dressing up in pretty clothes that I look good in? Or that I really like colors to match on things?

I have other interests I never admit... I like to believe in spirits. I believe that it's important to feel at "one" with the world once and awhile. I like board games for the feeling of togetherness it has. I like reading mystery stories. I like reading about dark things too, such as accidents that happened or could happen... I don't know why.

There's just so much I'm embarrassed of...