The insomnia makes it hard. I can't sleep when I'm depressed. I average about 3.5 hours on a good night, and maybe 15 minutes a shot for naps. I used to be able to sleep, but not anymore. I have sleep meds, but I really dislike the side effects of them (I get very angry, which is very triggering for me). It's really just anything with any sedating effective that makes me that way. I wish I could sleep though. I know things are a bit easier when I sleep.
i cried again today, for 2 solid hours. I thought it would never end. I really hate crying.
I don't know how to make this loss easier. It's so wrapped up in a million other losses, and I have not been able to untangle things even with my therapist's suggestions. I also hate that this ending is coming up right before a holiday and right before the anniversary of some significant losses - lots less support or distractions. It just all feels overwhelming...