This sounds like a horrible situation for both of you, a real impasse-- and it all seemed to start when he lost his job, right?

I would try to remember that he may be feeling really, really awful about not having a job. Was it out of character for him to ask you to console him rather than advise him? Have you been mostly supportive and gentle with him given your awareness of his depression over his job loss? I'm trying to understand if this started because of one single fight or if perhaps he felt badgered for two months before he said anything?

Living with someone who is looking for a job is almost as bad as being the person looking for work. It sucks. When my boyfriend was out of work, I was too much of a nag. I wish I had been nicer. He was definitely depressed during that time and didn't need me adding to it. He was not the same person out of work as he is when he is happily employed.

I hope that you guys can patch things up and get over this. If you have been together for five great years, I bet you have good odds. Give your history together and the reason you are having a hard time now, I would personally cut him a huge amount of slack.