i can't think of anything to add, after reading the above posts but this.......you are extremely insightful. and bright. and let me tell you, those who are overthink this stuff and it gets us into a mess with ourselves.

you're way above average for understanding your life experience and if this new therapist can work with you (and i'd sure give him a try), i bet things will change for you. it takes time. a lot of time and work.........good luck, pat p.s. keep posting