I do not know if this would be triggering so I will push the trigger thingie just in case.

I am going through yet another depression. God I hate it. I find myself angry and shooting from the hip. I have a friend that tells me she notices that I use my anger to push her away when I need help. I feel so powerless...perhaps...maybe that is where the anger comes in. I do not know how to let people in. I can let others in...but I have problems letting others in.

I am sad and angry and feeling like I need someone to give me a hand to take. I am so confused....and so alone.

I got off meds recently when my pdoc suggested a new med. It did not work despite a long couple month long haul trying to make it work. I am now off I suppose while we figure out where to go now. It will be a long weekend. I feel stuck in the sewer.

I do not really know what to say but I had a difficult session the last time through...difficult truths I suppose. I feel like I have shown anger to people that like me and I am confusing them and myself. It keeps me distanced... protected... yet alone.

I can not believe how much a person can cry... do the tears ever dry up?

I have been in therapy for depression for a zillion years.. or 22... I am saddened that I am in the dumper even after all that time. How much therapy does it take to fix a person?

Thanks for listening or at least offering a place to vent.

Part of the thing in therapy is how I do not let people in... I let him in... but I am too well defended.

What a hodge podge of stuff. Sorry....