What a situation to be in!
I know first hand the effect of sudden geodon withdrawl, it is not pleasant let alone without the rest going on. I am proud of you for coping so well so far.

Im the last person to suggest inpatient, I think it can do more harm than good in some cases - such as yours with people using it as an escape and holiday from their life and not learning to cope without it. But it is still necessary at times.

When things get so bad you are a real risk to yourself (more than basic self harm), that is when it is time to go. (And yes, I know I should take my own advice with that, I get so anti hospital and anti meds during my episodes)

PRN meds can be really helpful, do you have any thing at all you can take to help you get through? A small amount of Clonazepam will not kill you in overdose, so if you can get it it will be helpful, maybe ask for a week supply at a time. PRN antipsychotics like seroquel or zyprexa can help too, might make the withdrawls a little more bearable. You'd have to take a hell of a lot of seroquel to cause death, so again a weeks supply at a time is safe. And knowing that it will not cause death is usually enough for me to not od.

What skills have you been using to keep yourself safe and linked with reality? I find it helpful to list what I have tried, what has helped a little and what hasnt helped at all. It makes me see that sometimes some of the coping skills do help instead of feeling like a complete lost cause with nothing bringing any relief at all. That way I can also check up on here what skills others have used and I havent (for example the colouring book from Migels Mum while in crisis, a skill I knew but had forgotten to try in the stressful situation).

Thinking of you and hope you can get through.