all my neurotransmitters are low. I don't even remember what normal is.

I do remember being a giddy teenager being accused of being "high on drugs" because I was exhuberant. And because some people have it in for young women who feel good about themselves. But that's what I learned. Go faster than the others talk over their heads or about too many things or be too much, too bright. Too fast. Too sharp or too lively and they will ostracise you and accuse you.

Its depressing
to remember how the world insisted I should slow down and be depressed.

Maybe I need an antidepressant, just to learn to tolerate being who and how I am again.