Well I ****ed up spectacularly. Made another attempt this morning... Can't even explain why... Got angry at myself and then went for it. Hyperventilated in the process and my head and arms became numb.

Been put back in 10 min observations... So ashamed, angry and upset. Had been doing well for almost 4 days... Then 5 mins of stupidity slams me back to where I started.

Feeling so worthless and stupid