i feel guilty about writing about what's 'wrong' with my mother, but at the same time there are definite issues there...
She documented in a psychologists report that I was about 4 when we started having problems in our relationship, and as the years went by things just got worse and worse. All i can remember from about the age of 11 is fighting with her- screaming matches and arguments; she got my paediatrician to refer me to a pdoc when i was 12 and tried to get her to diagnose me with bipolar (my father is) so as to blame the whole situation on me. When I canme home 1 day when I was 14 and quoted that "it takes 2 to tango" when i told her that our fights weren't all my fault she basically laughed me out of the room, telling me that it IS all my fault. We had such a bad fight in the car 1 day on the way to school I was left on the side of the road... There were no hugs after about the age of 4, and i can't remember hearing "I love you"- even now i never say it although sometimes she will sign her emails or texts with it, but we still never say it when on the phone talking, or saying bye to each other at the airport. Since I left home our relationship has improved immensely- we never fight now altho I get easily annoyed by her attitude towards things and don't hesitate to tell her (!!). When I was hosopitalised 2 yrs ago she found out ALL the secrets I have hidden from her- all my probs, ODs, SI etc etc (she did know I had been on ADs i think...). But even now that she knows I never talk to her about any of it; I have serious trust issues with her as she used to tell my grandparents everything that was discussed during our pdoc sessions when i was 12, and we have never been close enuf to have that kind of 'warm fuzzy able-to-talk-about-issues' relationship. She did come down for 6 weeks tho to look after my youngest who was in a separate hospital from me for most of the 4 mths I was in, and to help me get settled back at home when i was discharged. When it comes to things like cleaning, I always had the image of someone who would do all the housework and had a great routine. Now when I visit I am horrified, and know why I used to suffer so badly from allergies (the dust-mite 1 in particular). I usually take it upon myself to actually dust the house, altho apparantly my father vacuums. She does the rest of the household chores, and is SO organised right down to lists for everything... i have taken after her unfortunately in some ways... while i LOVE to have a clean house I am often unmotivated (and prob just too tired) to keep on top of things; and i use lists all the time (which is a positive ).
Wow- sorry I have been rambling and raving on for so long... i didn't realise... someone elses turn now